1 Corinthians 7:1-39

To Marry or Not To Marry? This is the Question!

As we continue in this letter to the Corinthian church, Paul seems to take a moment to address an issue the church has brought up to him. Apparently, they had written to Paul with a “perfect solution” for the problem of sexual immorality. Let’s read on to find out what this solution might be.

Vs. 1-7 Now in response to the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have relations with a woman. But because sexual immorality is so common, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. A husband should fulfill his marital responsibility to his wife, and likewise a wife to her husband. A wife does not have the right over her own body, but her husband does. In the same way, a husband does not have the right over his own body, but his wife does. Do not deprive one another sexually—except when you agree for a time, to devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again; otherwise, Satan may tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say the following as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all people were just like me. But each has his own gift from God, one person in this way and another in that way.

So what is their perfect solution? “It is good for a man not to have relations with a woman.” Because sexual immorality was so rampant in Corinth, some in the church thought that total abstinence, even among those who were married, would take care of the problem. Paul rejects this idea outright with his answer to them. Just the opposite, he says. Because sexual immorality is so common the wife and husband should fulfill their marital responsibilities to one another. In fact, he goes on to say that husband’s and wives do not even have a right over their own bodies anymore. The husband’s body is for his wife and the wife’s body is for her husband. The only reason to abstain is because both have come together for a time fasting and prayer. This is for a specified time only and then they resume with their sexual relations. Now, Paul does wish everyone could be like him – he was single at the time of this writing – but he also understands it is not for everyone.

We once again live in a day and age when sexual immorality is rampant. (Actually, I’m not sure there has been a day anywhere in history when this hasn’t been the case). Marriages fail at a rate that is mind-boggling and it doesn’t matter if they are believers or not. There are very few families left that haven’t been touched by divorce. I know my own family has been touched a couple of times. A common reason for divorce is sexual immorality. Abstinence is certainly not the solution for keeping marriages together. And this is what Paul is saying. With all the pressures already on a marriage, let’s not add something that encourages temptation. It is a recipe for disaster.

Vs. 8-16  I say to the unmarried and to widows: It is good for them if they remain as I am. But if they do not have self-control, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with desire. I command the married—not I, but the Lord—a wife is not to leave her husband. But if she does leave, she must remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband—and a husband is not to leave his wife. But I (not the Lord) say to the rest: If any brother has an unbelieving wife and she is willing to live with him, he must not leave her. Also, if any woman has an unbelieving husband and he is willing to live with her, she must not leave her husband. For the unbelieving husband is set apart for God by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is set apart for God by the husband. Otherwise your children would be corrupt, but now they are set apart for God. But if the unbeliever leaves, let him leave. A brother or a sister is not bound in such cases. God has called you to live in peace. For you, wife, how do you know whether you will save your husband? Or you, husband, how do you know whether you will save your wife?

In this next section Paul wants to talk to those who are currently unmarried, whether it be someone never married or someone who is now a widow. He would like it if they could remain that way, just as he was. As an aside, in all actuality, Paul was probably married at one time. We deduce this because he was a very strict Pharisee and was also most probably a member of the Sanhedrin (taken from the fact that he cast his vote in Acts 26:10). One could not be unmarried and able to cast a vote in the Sanhedrin. We d not know what happened to his wife, but he is now unmarried. He sees this as a gift that God has granted him and wishes more could have this gift. But he knows having self-control in matters of sex is difficult, so encourages those who cannot maintain this kind of self-control to marry.

The next thing he addresses is the question of whether a husband or wife can leave their unbelieving spouse. He very clearly differentiates between what the Lord commands and what is his opinion on these matters. First, what the Lord commands. Husbands and wives do not have the option to leave one another. Divorce is not the will of God. This is what Jesus had to say about these issues in Matthew 19:3-12 “Some Pharisees approached Him to test Him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife on any grounds?” “Haven’t you read,” He replied, “that He who created them in the beginning made them male and female,” and He also said: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, man must not separate.” “Why then,” they asked Him, “did Moses command us to give divorce papers and to send her away?” He told them, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because of the hardness of your hearts. But it was not like that from the beginning. And I tell you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” His disciples said to Him, “If the relationship of a man with his wife is like this, it’s better not to marry!” But He told them, “Not everyone can accept this saying, but only those it has been given to. For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb, there are eunuchs who were made by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves that way because of the kingdom of heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.” Jesus’ words is a clear teaching against divorce and supports absolutely everything Paul has just stated to the Corinthian church. Divorce, except for sexual immorality was not permitted and, celibacy is a gift from God. Not everyone has this gift, so they need to except how God has created them. Paul does give a concession to those married to an unbeliever. If the unbelieving partner wants a divorce or leaves the marriage, they have chosen this, not you as the believer. But if they want to stay in the marriage – you need to stay in the marriage.

Vs. 17-24 However, each one must live his life in the situation the Lord assigned when God called him. This is what I command in all the churches. Was anyone already circumcised when he was called? He should not undo his circumcision. Was anyone called while uncircumcised? He should not get circumcised. Circumcision does not matter and uncircumcision does not matter, but keeping God’s commands does. Each person should remain in the life situation in which he was called. Were you called while a slave? It should not be a concern to you. But if you can become free, by all means take the opportunity. For he who is called by the Lord as a slave is the Lord’s freedman Likewise he who is called as a free man is Christ’s slave. You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men. Brothers, each person should remain with God in whatever situation he was called.

And here is the main thing – God has given each of us gifts – we have been given an assignment. The Greek word for assignment is emerisen which means to divide up. God has divided gifts for each of us. Not all of us will have the same gift, especially when it comes to whether to marry or not. The Greek word for “live in his life” is peripateitō which means to walk in or conduct your life in a particular way. So we need to walk in the way God has assigned or as He has gifted us. Where we are or where we come from is not a concern. God uses many from all walks of life from many different situations. We should only be concerned with following God in all we do. The Greek word for remain is meneto which means to abide. God says “abide in me. I am the vine and you are the branches. If you abide in me, you will bear the fruit that has been assigned you. Some fruit is there to be eaten, some fruit is used to make clothing and some is used to build things etc. God is asking us to be satisfied with the gifts He has given us. As long as we abide in Him, our gifts will be used to further the kingdom of God. Each gift is needed!

Vs. 25-31 About virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I do give an opinion as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. Therefore I consider this to be good because of the present distress: It is fine for a man to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. However, if you do get married, you have not sinned, and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But such people will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you. And I say this, brothers: The time is limited, so from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none, those who weep as though they did not weep, those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice, those who buy as though they did not possess, and those who use the world as though they did not make full use of it. For this world in its current form is passing away.

Again we find that Paul gives his opinion. He would love it if everyone had the same gift (of celibacy) just as he did, but he also knows not everyone cans, so, it is fine if they marry. He does give us a sense of urgency though. Whatever state we live in, single or married, we should not waste the time we have. Live your life fully dedicated to the cause of Christ. Why is this his opinion? This next portion gives us that answer.

Vs. 32-40 I want you to be without concerns. An unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the things of the world—how he may please his wife and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or a virgin is concerned about the things of the Lord, so that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. Now I am saying this for your own benefit, not to put a restraint on you, but because of what is proper and so that you may be devoted to the Lord without distraction. But if any man thinks he is acting improperly toward his virgin, if she is past marriageable age, and so it must be, he can do what he wants. He is not sinning; they can get married. But he who stands firm in his heart (who is under no compulsion, but has control over his own will) and has decided in his heart to keep his own virgin, will do well. So then he who marries his virgin does well, but he who does not marry will do better. A wife is bound as long as her husband is living. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to anyone she wants—only in the Lord. But she is happier if she remains as she is, in my opinion. And I think that I also have the Spirit of God.

It is all about your ability to be dedicated to God. This passage is very real to me. In my own experience, I was single for a very long time in my life before I married. During that time, I served as a missionary and minister to college students. I had all the time in the world to devote to God’s calling in my life. I did not have a husband to “distract” me or his concerns to take up my time. I can understand why Paul says, if you can remain that way. But, I could not remain that way. I had a desire to be married and so, when I met my husband, I did marry. Now I am concerned with both his needs and my calling in ministry. My interests are literally divided. The word for divided is memeristai and is related to the word emerisen we talked about earlier. Instead of God dividing the gifts among us, we have divided our own interests in marriage. To be clear, this division is not wrong It is in fact natural. God created us to be in relationship – He did give Adam his wife Eve after all. This is why it is so important to marry someone who is in step with God – so you may walk together with Him in all you do.