Romans 14

The Law of Love

We started this section of Paul’s letter with Romans 12:3; “For by the grace given to me, I tell everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he should think. Instead, think sensibly, as God has distributed a measure of faith to each one.” This was followed up by Romans 13:8, 10; “Do not owe anyone anything, except to love one another, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law… Love does no wrong to a neighbor. Love, therefore, is the fulfillment of the law.” As we continue in Romans 14, these verses must be the key to everything we do as we engage with other believers, especially those believers who are young or weak in the faith. We have been given a great amount of grace, therefore, we should extend that grace to our brothers and sisters in Christ. The law of love is living out a Christ like life. He loved us enough to go to the cross. He loved us enough to give us grace. He loved us enough to redeem us from death and sin. This is the love we share with others.

Vs 1-4 Accept anyone who is weak in faith, but don’t argue about doubtful issues. One person believes he may eat anything, but one who is weak eats only vegetables. One who eats must not look down on one who does not eat, and one who does not eat must not criticize one who does, because God has accepted him. Who are you to criticize another’s household slave? Before his own Lord he stands or falls. And he will stand. For the Lord is able to make him stand.

The first question we must ask is who are the weak in faith Paul is referring to? The Greek word for weak is astheneó: which means to be weak, feeble, or ill. Which believers would fall into this definition? First, they could be new believers or babes in Christ. New babies are weak and need a lot of guidance so they can grow in their faith. Second, they might be legalistic believers. These believers would be considered sick or diseased because they rely on the law for their salvation. The stress to be good enough and the bitterness that can happen because of the constant judging of others can make one ill – spiritually and physically. Third are those believers who have not received good teaching, so they lack the nourishment they need to grow as a believer. Milk is okay for a baby, but as you grow, you need solid food! And fourth, they might just be those who have not exercised their faith enough. Without exercise we become weak in our faith. James reminds us of this: Foolish man! Are you willing to learn that faith without works is useless? Wasn’t Abraham our father justified by works when he offered Isaac his son on the altar? You see that faith was active together with his works, and by works, faith was perfected. So the Scripture was fulfilled that says, Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him for righteousness, and he was called God’s friend… For just as the body without the spirit is dead, so also faith without works is dead,” James 2:20-23; 26. So we must exercise our faith to be strong believers.

Now that we’ve identified who the weak believers are, we must then understand how we are to relate to them and help them grow. The first thing we do is apply the law of love. This will shape how we go forward. Then, we adhere to the warnings Paul gives us about how not to respond to those weak in the faith. He says, don’t argue about doubtful issues. It does us no good to argue with some people, especially those who are overly legalistic or have a poor understanding of scripture. A friend of mine once said, “you cannot reason with the unreasonable,” and she’s right. Paul then goes into detail on an issue the early believers dealt with – what to eat and what not to eat. We are not just talking about kosher law here. We are also talking about meat or food sacrificed or given to idols in the temples. There was a great debate as to if it was okay for believers to eat that food or not. Paul deals with this in a couple of his letters. While this may not be an issue you currently deal with, there are many other issues that do apply here. See if any of these apply: how some in our church dress, the books they read, movies they go to, if they drink alcohol or not, what side of the political aisle they are on… These are just some of the many issues that have divided, and continue to divide, believers. Paul says we are to apply the law of love: think of others more highly than ourselves. We are not to criticize or look down on someone because they don’t do things the way we do. This puts a wedge in the relationship and is harmful to the kingdom of God. These are not issues of morality, but issues of spiritual legality. Paul reminds us, we are not to worry about what others are doing on these issues. The Lord is the master – not us! Who are we to tell God what His people can and cannot do.

Just to be perfectly clear, I am not talking about morality issues here. We, of course, want to correct those who are walking in an immoral way. We must love people enough to correct sinful behavior. But, let’s not confuse these issues with morality. There are going to be believers who are fine with certain things and others who are not. Here is an example from my own life: I don’t see really watch R rated movies. That’s a choice I’ve made in my own life. I don’t expect any one else to hold this conviction and I certainly don’t look down on those who do see them. That’s just my own thing. Each person must make their own decisions on these issues. One very divisive issue I’ve encountered over the past couple of years is to mask or not to mask. Never in my life have I ever witnessed one issue that created such astounding anger between brothers and sisters in Christ as the issues that came from covid 19. Paul is very clear here. We are to follow the law of love. If we do that, these issues will not be the divisive walls we build between ourselves and others. In this next section, Paul gives us the blueprint for how we follow the law of love.

Vs 5-12 One person considers one day to be above another day. Someone else considers every day to be the same. Each one must be fully convinced in his own mind. Whoever observes the day, observes it for the honor of the Lord. Whoever eats, eats for the Lord, since he gives thanks to God; and whoever does not eat, it is for the Lord that he does not eat it, yet he thanks God. For none of us lives to himself, and no one dies to himself. If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. Christ died and came to life for this: that He might rule over both the dead and the living. But you, why do you criticize your brother? Or you, why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before the tribunal of God. For it is written: As I live, says the Lord, every knee will bow to Me, and every tongue will give praise to God. So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.

Here is the key – each person must be fully convinced in their own mind – is what you are doing honoring the Lord? Or, does what you do dishonor the Lord? As believers, we are to live for the Lord. We have to realize that each of us will stand before God and give an accounting for ourselves. We do not account for others. We cannot say – but look at him or her. Look at what they did. No, it will only be about what we have done. How did we follow the law of love? It’s so easy to look at our brothers and sisters in Christ and judge their behavior based on how we choose to live our life. I also know of many churches who have particular “codes” they think everyone should follow: how they dress, how they take communion, how they see the sanctuary, what music should or should not be played, and on and on… These are things that have literally split churches. No, we must live knowing it is all about God, because every knee will bow, and every tongue will give praise to God. This can only be done if we apply the law of love.

Vs 13-21 Therefore, let us no longer criticize one another. Instead decide never to put a stumbling block or pitfall in your brother’s way. (I know and am persuaded by the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself. Still, to someone who considers a thing to be unclean, to that one it is unclean.) For if your brother is hurt by what you eat, you are no longer walking according to love. Do not destroy that one Christ died for by what you eat. Therefore, do not let your good be slandered, for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit. Whoever serves Christ in this way is acceptable to God and approved by men. So then, we must pursue what promotes peace and what builds up one another. Do not tear down God’s work because of food. Everything is clean, but it is wrong for a man to cause stumbling by what he eats. It is a noble thing not to eat meat, or drink wine, or do anything that makes your brother stumble.

Not only does the law of love help us rise above petty legalistic laws, it will also cause us to be humble as we think of others more highly than ourselves. We may understand that certain things are not forbidden by God – they are not unclean, but, that weaker brother or sister may have a real problem with it. When we go ahead and engage in it, it causes them to stumble. No man is an island. We cannot live our life as if what we do will not impact others. So, if what we do hurts other believers, we must humble ourselves, apply the law of love, and abstain. It’s not worth destroying someone’s faith because you have “rights”. A good example is alcohol. There are those believers who find alcohol absolutely wrong and those who see nothing wrong with it. Those believers who think it’s okay may not understand why others have a problem with it. At this point, you have two choices. Assert your “right” to drink that glass of wine or beer, never mind that it might hinder someone else. Or, walk according to the law of love and give up your “right” so your sister or brother in Christ will have a chance to grow in the Lord. It comes down to this: if your “right” to do something hinders the growth of another believer, give it up. Walk according to love. When we love someone, we don’t want to do anything that hurts them. The kingdom of God is not about our rights, it is about righteousness. Instead, “we must pursue what promotes peace and what builds up one another.” The bottom line – don’t cause your brother or sister to stumble!

Vs 22-23 Do you have a conviction? Keep it to yourself before God. The man who does not condemn himself by what he approves is blessed. But whoever doubts stands condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from a conviction, and everything that is not from a conviction is sin.

Is there something in your life you are convinced is free and acceptable? Great! Paul says it’s best to keep this before God instead of announcing it to those who may be weaker in the faith. Then, you will be blessed by God. But, if there’s something in your life you’re unsure of – maybe it’s okay, maybe it’s not – then abstain from it. Perhaps there’s something you feel is fine, but now God is asking you to give it up, Give it up. You don’t know the reason why, but God does. I have known several people who have given up things so they could be a better witness for God. My friends in Turkey who adopted the dietary restrictions or my friend who chose to dress like the other women of the country she went to, no matter how uncomfortable she was. They may have lost their “freedom” but they gained avenues to share the gospel of Jesus Christ. We do not know why God may ask us to give up something. It may be just for a season, or it could even be for a lifetime. We only know it will be for the furtherance of His kingdom. We must live the law of love, seeing others more highly than we see ourselves. It is in this way that we glorify God and help our brothers and sisters grow in their faith.